Dating for Dummies

Beth Mauthe, Copy Editor

How to ask someone on a date

• Although it’s beginning to be more normal to ask someone out over text or direct message, it is still a better idea to ask someone on a date either in person, or at least through a phone call.
• Asking people on dates in person or over the phone may seem more awkward and uncomfortable in the moment or beforehand, but doing so will eventually make talking to people and being more open easier on your part. This helps in regular life situations where good communication is necessary, as well as in your more permanent relationships between friends and your significant other.
• Double dates and group dates are also an option, and are still considered dates if you establish that it’s a date from the beginning. Having a group or double date can make it easier to split the costs of gas money, activities and food if you have a limited budget, and these dates allow for a more comfortable atmosphere if you’re not ready to be alone with the other person.
• Remember, if you’re going to ask someone on a date, it’s important to already have an idea of what you’ll be doing for the date when you ask them. If you’re not sure what that should include, just remember to check your FACTS.
F – Food. You don’t have to have food on a date, but it’s never a bad idea. After all, who doesn’t like food?
A – Activities. Know ahead of time what activities you’ll be doing on the date, whether it’s as simple as watching a movie or going on a walk.
C – Clothing. Depending on the activity you’ve planned, make sure to tell your date how to dress accordingly. This will keep them from showing up in their favorite, cutest new outfit if you’re planning something that could get them dirty.
T – Time. Tell your date the start time (whether this is when to be ready for you to pick them up or when they need to show up to a specified place), as well as your estimated end time. Plan to be on time or a little early to the beginning of the date so your date isn’t left waiting for you.
S – Spending. It’s usually a good rule of thumb that if you’re the person asking the other out on the date, then you are normally the one to pay, unless you make it clear and work out another way of paying when you’re first planning the date with the other person. However! This does not mean you have to plan something expensive and worry about how to pay for it all! Cheap date ideas are available all over the internet if you can’t think of any yourself.

• Once you’ve planned out all the details and you’re really asking, make sure you call it a date, and NOT “hanging out.” Don’t be scared to call it what it is. If you want to go on a date with them, address it as such.


These tips are simply so you know how to ask and plan a date well. They don’t guarantee any specific positive outcome once you have asked. In the case that they say no, just remember, it’s not me… It’s you.


How to know when to STOP! (The 3-Point Rule)

• So you think you like someone and you may want to ask them on a date. But what if they’re not replying to your texts and you can’t decide if you should keep trying or not? No one wants to become the annoying person who keeps pestering someone who’s trying to subtly show they’re uninterested. Here’s a good guideline that lets you know when to stop and when you can keep trying.
• First of all, you need to know what counts as a point.
o 1/2 point: a Facebook post or message, an @ tweet or a Direct Message and all other little things, usually done through social media.
o 1 point: a call, text or email.
o 2 points: if you call AND leave a voicemail, or if you go by their house.
o 3 points: going to their house AND dropping something off for them.
• Once you’ve done any of these things for the other person, the points are added to them. In order to subtract points and get it back to zero, the other person must reciprocate by doing something in return (such as a text or call back).
• Remember! The goal is to stay at 0 points for BOTH of you, because this shows that both of you are responding and trying to keep up communication, meaning the effort isn’t just one-sided.
• If the other person reaches 3 points, this is when you give up and stop texting, calling and DM-ing them until they get rid of their points somehow.
• You MAY meet a 4-point person, but this is very rare, so don’t assume that just anyone is a 4-pointer. A 4-pointer is someone who you really see potential for a strong relationship with in the future. And remember, your idea of a 4-pointer probably won’t be the same as someone else’s 4-pointer.
Credit: “3-Point Rule” by Zack Oates at and